I was recently invited to speak with the wonderful staff at a nearby secondary school in my area. This was an incredible opportunity for me to share information about what parents and teachers can do to help children manage stress, as well as receive feedback from professionals who spend a great deal of time with children.
There is an African proverb that suggests “It takes a village to raise a child.” I think this is true and beautifully highlights the great contribution of the community in shaping children into the adults they will become. Guess who makes up the “village?” That’s right: you, me, coaches, tutors, neighbors, uncles, aunts, grandparents, and friends, to name a few. You may not realize it, but a short time spent with a child may impact them more than you can imagine. People such as teachers and coaches nurture their talents, teach them, support them, and get to join them during a critical time in their development.
While many of us recall our childhood and adolescence with great fondness, I frequently forget the stressful moments. Like adults, children and adolescents experience daily stress too. Their stress is just as intense as an adult’s experience of stress. Most adolescents experience more stress when they perceive a situation as dangerous, difficult, or painful and feel they do not have the resources to cope. So our job as the “village” is to help them change their perception of the stressors they encounter and develop the skills to cope.
Common contributors to stress in children and adolescents
- Academic pressure and grades
- Social dynamics, peer conflict, and bullying
- Family transitions — divorce, moves, financial stress at home
- Sports, extracurriculars, and packed schedules
- Social media and constant comparison
- Big-picture worries about the world around them
Signs of stress in children and adolescents
- Increased irritability, anger outbursts, or tearfulness
- Changes in sleep or appetite
- Withdrawal from friends, family, or usual activities
- Physical complaints — headaches, stomachaches without a clear cause
- Drop in school performance or focus
- Regressive behaviors in younger children (bedwetting, clinginess)
Tips for parents and teachers
Perhaps the best way to help children manage stress is to help them develop the skills before they encounter a stressful event.
- Model calm — narrate your own coping in real time.
- Keep predictable routines around sleep, meals, and downtime.
- Make space for feelings without rushing to fix them.
- Teach a simple breathing or grounding practice they can use in the moment.
- Limit unnecessary schedule pressure — protect unstructured play and rest.
- Reach out for professional support when stress is affecting daily functioning.
